Here is your outlined to-do list:
- Decide on a budget
- Get the Guest List
- Find a Date and Time
- Pick a Location
- Choose a Theme or Style
- Pick and Mail Invitations
- Provide Food and Drinks
- Decide on Party Decor
- Choose Games and Prizes
- Choose Music (and how to play it)
- Hire a Photographer, find a Photo Uploader or make a Hashtag!
- Plan the Gift Opening
- Pick Party Favors (optional)
- Get a Guestbook (optional)
- Make Sure Everyone is Ready
- Make a TIMELINE!
- Setup and Throw a Great Shower
Here are the details of that list.
1. Decide on a Budget
Really, before you know anything else, figure out what you can spend on the shower. A shower can cost $100 or $10,000. It's up to you. On average, I think a few hundred is fair amount to spend and a nice shower for 30-50 people. This amount is usually split between the bridesmaids and possible the mother of the bride and/or groom, so it's not all on one person. Here's what your budget should include with a few sample figures.
| Sample Budget | |
| Invitations | 40 |
| Location | 0 |
| Food | 100 |
| Drinks | 40 |
| Flowers | 20 |
| Other Decor | 50 |
| Plates and utensils | 25 |
| Favors/Gifts | 50 |
| Music | 40 |
| Photography | 80 |
| Table and Chair Rentals | 150 |
| Total | 595 |
If this is split between 6 people, it's only about $100 per person. If you're the lone bridesmaid planning it all by yourself, I offer my deepest sympathy. Below, I'll include ideas for saving money on all these items.
2. Get the Guest List
The guest list is crucial for figuring out how far that budget can go. If the bride hasn't finalized the wedding guest list yet, you should at least be about to estimate a number by taking half the number of the wedding guest list (she usually has a limited amount she can invite). More often than not, not everyone will show up to the shower, so even if there are a few more than you planned, it's not going to throw you off entirely.
3. Find a Date and Time
This time needs to work for all the bridesmaids, mothers of the bride and groom and, of course, the bride. You should be planning this months in advance, so hopefully this isn't too difficult. If it's a surprise shower, make sure a decoy event is planned with the bride. The shower should be at least a month before the wedding, two to three months earlier is ideal. For example, a wedding June would have a shower in April, May at the latest. This gives the bride enough time to enjoy to relax and enjoy the shower before the crunch time of wedding planning. It also gives guests a break in their calendars and bridesmaids time to help the bride with the wedding when the shower is done.
When picking the time of day, keep your budget in mind. Most showers are thrown around two or three in the afternoon so you can serve light hors d'oeuvres and drinks. If the shower starts or overlaps a mealtime, expect to serve a full meal. Even though mid afternoon is the most common time for a shower, mid morning brunches and evening drink are great options that leaves guests free to enjoy the rest of the day.
4. Pick a Location
You have many options when it comes to a location, but the easiest and least expensive will be at someone's house. You will have the added benefit of an infinite amount of time to setup and cleanup, a kitchen to store and prep food it, and you don't need to worry about kicking guests out when your time limit is up. If a house is not an option, you can use a restaurant, park, rec center, country club or anywhere that allow guests to sit and enjoy each others company. Locations that provide tables, chairs, and other necessary items are ideal and restrooms are a must for any location.
5. Choose Theme or Style
Not all showers need themes, but you at least a style and color scheme you want to use to make it cohesive. If you want to use a theme, there are a myriad of them to choose from.
A few themes:
- Travel
- Breakfast at Tiffany's (great for a morning shower when serving breakfast)
- Parisian (fun for a wine and cheese night)
- Alice in Wonderland (tea parties are great for this theme)
- Donut Brunch
- Kitchen Shower (everyone brings kitchen gifts)
- Garden Party
- BBQ
- Fall in Love (a play on words for an Autumn shower)
6. Pick and Mail the Invitations
Invitations set the tone for the shower, so pick something that matches the theme and formality. There are many options to choose, but please don't use fill-in-the-blank invitations from the party supply store. If you're looking for an easy DIY option, consider using one of the many invitation options on Etsy. You can buy a customize-able design and print them at home or at a printer like Office Depot. You can find my digital invitations in my Etsy Shop!
7. Provide Food and Drinks
Again, the food and drinks you provide are dependent on the time of the shower. If the shower starts between 12pm and 1:30pm or between 4pm and 6:30pm, you should serve lunch or dinner. If the shower is in the morning, light breakfast foods are easy and fun. You can include quiche, parfaits, pastries, bagels, donuts, and fresh fruit. An afternoon shower can include any assortment of light foods. Your food can match your theme, such as French foods for a Parisian theme shower or Tea, cookies and finger sandwiches for an Alice in Wonderland party. Another option is a dessert only party. Usually hosted in the late evening, you can serve an array of fun desserts. One way to keep the food cost low is to have each bridesmaid bring a dish they made.
Flowers and tablecloths are the easiest way to make a simple party look more elegant. There are so many options for decorations and a quick pinterest search will give you a thousand examples. Here are a few tips. Unless they fit your theme, i.e. Up, don't use balloons. Make sure whatever you plan to do can be setup in the time allowed. If you're having the shower at a restaurant or location with a time limit, go for very simple and quick decor, such as flowers in vases and maybe a nice cake/dessert display. Outdoor locations are great because you're already surrounded by flowers and the beauty of nature.
9. Choose Games and Prizes
Games are expected at a shower, but they don't need to be boring or embarrassing and please don't melt chocolate in diapers! Fun games are ones that can include all the guests with an equal chance of winning (I'm referring to the Who Knows the Bride Best games. No one but the best friend, sister or mother of the bride/honoree ever win that (that can be a good game for the bachelorette party)). Everyone dreads those games that force everyone to be wrapped in toilet paper or make them look silly. Instead, try picking a few passive games that let people socialize while they play. Don't Say Baby/Wedding can be a lot of fun. A Purse Scavenger Hunt is great for getting people talking when you play it on teams. What's on Your Cell Phone is a very popular and fun game right now. A Gift Bingo game can liven up the often boring gift opening. You can find some of my favorite games in my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShameronStudios?section_id=16696485
Your prizes can be small or large and can be tied to your theme or just a fun item that many people would enjoy. Nail polish, simple jewelry, themed trinkets, or gift cards make great prizes. Be sure to have enough prizes for each winner, especially if you play with teams. Include one or two spare prizes for ties or make a tie breaker question/game in advance.
10. Choose Music (and plan how you'll play it)
The feel of the music should match your event mood. It never hurts to throw in some of the bride or mother-to-be's favorite songs.You can use music you own or sign up for a streaming service like Spotify or Google Play Music to use huge music libraries. These services often offer trial periods so you can make your list the week before and then cancel your membership after the shower. Once you have that perfect playlist, make sure you know how you're going to play it. Bring portable speakers or make sure a sound system will be available.
11. Hire a Photographer, find a Photo Uploader or make a Hashtag!
Showers are special event that you're putting a lot of work into, so you and the honoree are going to want photos. Planning to take the photos yourself is probably going to be too abitious. I've been to many showers (my own bridal shower included) where the people throwing the party planned on taking pictures, but were so busy getting and restocking food, greeting guests, arranging the gift opening, etc and they completely forgot or just didn't get time to take photos. Hiring a photographer guarantees that the whole event gets covered and you get some amazing photos. Some photographers will do event photography for just a couple hundred dollars an hour. You can hire them to arrive shortly before the guests and leave once the gift opening is over. You can also try to hire a friend or a student to it for $20-$60 if you're not too concerned with the quality of the photos. At least you know you're going to get some pictures. If you can't or just don't want a photographer, you can make a hashtag or use a photo upload service that will let all the guests gather their pictures in one place. There are several online services that let groups upload photos, just find the one that's right for you. If you know of a good one, leave a comment letting others know!
12. Plan the Gift Opening
This is often overlooked, but SOOOO important. When the gift opening is hastily thrown together, it can get drawn out, gifts get lost, and gift givers can get overlooked. Make sure you setup a spot for the honoree to sit where everyone can see her and that will look nice in photos. You can setup a nice chair, a cute bench, or a vintage sofa with a few decorations around it to make a nice backdrop. Have a trash bag (that you keep out of the way of the photos) or gift wrap a large open box in which to stuff the opened gift paper. Be sure to delegate someone to writing down who gave her what gift and have a pad of paper and pens ready for that person. Nominate another person or two to hand the gifts to the honoree and take them away and organize them in bags or boxes ready to be taken home. Depending on how many guests will be attending, prep the gift opener on how quickly she should open the gifts. One minute per gift works with 20 people or less, but anymore than that and you're going to need to speed it up. Open cards quickly, if there's a long message written inside, let the guest know you'll spend more time reading it later when you're alone. Open the gift, show it to everyone, thank the gift giver and hand the gift to the person designated to organizing them and move to the next gift. Bridal Shower Bingo is a great way to make guests feel like they're part of the gift opening and it entertains.
If you have over 40 or 50 people, you may want to consider a Gifts on Display shower where guests don't wrap the gifts, but just decorate them a bit so that you don't need to open them. This option can be a bit controversial, but anyone who dislikes wrapping or gift openings will appreciate it. It's starting to increase in popularity now. And you can make it more acceptable by appealing to the guest's environmentally friendly and social side. Alternatively, you can let guests know that you'll be opening them after the shower or do it last and let the guests know they aren't expected to stay for it.
13. Pick Party Favors (optional)
Party favors are something that are almost expected, but guests rarely care about. People often don't want another nik-nak to store somewhere that will eventually get tossed... Good favors are small treats (homemade cookies, caramel apples, unusual candy to people will want to try) or something usable (a compact mirror, nail polish, a deck of cards, bookmarks, etc). If it's meant to just sit on a shelf forever, consider something else or just put more effort into your game gifts and forget about favors entirely. You just served a free meal and drinks, guests won't expect to get more back. At most shower and weddings I've attended, most guests forget or deliberately don't take the favors and they get wasted anyways. The only reason I mention favors at all is because I didn't want you to think I forgot ;-)
14. Get a Guestbook (optional)
Guestbook don't need to be books. They can be anything! There are so many options to choose from. You can buy a guestbook painting: like these, or buy an object that fits your theme to have guests sign, like a globe, a wooden wall hanging or letter for the new last name of the bride or first name of the baby. You can send the guests recipe cards with the invitation to fill out in advance with a favorite recipe and assemble them into a recipe/guestbook!
15. Make Sure Everyone is Ready
This seems obvious, but before the shower, make sure all bridesmaids or co-hosts have their assigned task ready. There's always that flaky person on the team that waits until the last minute to do something or forgets what time they should arrive. Make sure everyone helping knows what time they should arrive to help decorate or prep food. Check-in with them the day before too. If you're host alone, ask a friend to help you setup and get food ready.
16. Make a TIMELINE!
I can not count how many showers, and even weddings, I've been to where the host just wing it. This is okay for casual parties, but if you want time to play games, eat, open gifts, get photos together, and visit and you only have 2 hours, you better make a timeline that allows for all of that. Start with the arrival time. Some guests will arrive early and some will come late. Allow 20 minutes for everyone to arrive. You may want to let people eat first or jump into playing games to break the ice. You can let people eat while you're doing the gift opening. Make sure you have a timeline for the order of events and allow time for mingling. Here's a sample timeline:
10am: Arrive to decorate
12pm: Prep food
2pm: Guests arrive
2:30: Start Purse Scavenger Hunt Game (Teams of 3 or 4)
2:45: Serve Food
2:55: Start gift opening
3:25: Play What's in your Cell Phone game (one winner)
3:35: Serve Dessert
3:45: Thank Guests (give favors if using)
Guests can mingle
4:30 Clean up
Make sure all the hosts have this timeline in advance.
17. Setup and Throw a Great Shower!
With all this prep work, you should be totally prepared! Allow enough time to setup all your decorations. If you're making the food, prep as much as you can the day before and allow time for cooking or assembling before the shower starts.
Games are expected at a shower, but they don't need to be boring or embarrassing and please don't melt chocolate in diapers! Fun games are ones that can include all the guests with an equal chance of winning (I'm referring to the Who Knows the Bride Best games. No one but the best friend, sister or mother of the bride/honoree ever win that (that can be a good game for the bachelorette party)). Everyone dreads those games that force everyone to be wrapped in toilet paper or make them look silly. Instead, try picking a few passive games that let people socialize while they play. Don't Say Baby/Wedding can be a lot of fun. A Purse Scavenger Hunt is great for getting people talking when you play it on teams. What's on Your Cell Phone is a very popular and fun game right now. A Gift Bingo game can liven up the often boring gift opening. You can find some of my favorite games in my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShameronStudios?section_id=16696485
Your prizes can be small or large and can be tied to your theme or just a fun item that many people would enjoy. Nail polish, simple jewelry, themed trinkets, or gift cards make great prizes. Be sure to have enough prizes for each winner, especially if you play with teams. Include one or two spare prizes for ties or make a tie breaker question/game in advance.
10. Choose Music (and plan how you'll play it)
The feel of the music should match your event mood. It never hurts to throw in some of the bride or mother-to-be's favorite songs.You can use music you own or sign up for a streaming service like Spotify or Google Play Music to use huge music libraries. These services often offer trial periods so you can make your list the week before and then cancel your membership after the shower. Once you have that perfect playlist, make sure you know how you're going to play it. Bring portable speakers or make sure a sound system will be available.
11. Hire a Photographer, find a Photo Uploader or make a Hashtag!
Showers are special event that you're putting a lot of work into, so you and the honoree are going to want photos. Planning to take the photos yourself is probably going to be too abitious. I've been to many showers (my own bridal shower included) where the people throwing the party planned on taking pictures, but were so busy getting and restocking food, greeting guests, arranging the gift opening, etc and they completely forgot or just didn't get time to take photos. Hiring a photographer guarantees that the whole event gets covered and you get some amazing photos. Some photographers will do event photography for just a couple hundred dollars an hour. You can hire them to arrive shortly before the guests and leave once the gift opening is over. You can also try to hire a friend or a student to it for $20-$60 if you're not too concerned with the quality of the photos. At least you know you're going to get some pictures. If you can't or just don't want a photographer, you can make a hashtag or use a photo upload service that will let all the guests gather their pictures in one place. There are several online services that let groups upload photos, just find the one that's right for you. If you know of a good one, leave a comment letting others know!
12. Plan the Gift Opening
This is often overlooked, but SOOOO important. When the gift opening is hastily thrown together, it can get drawn out, gifts get lost, and gift givers can get overlooked. Make sure you setup a spot for the honoree to sit where everyone can see her and that will look nice in photos. You can setup a nice chair, a cute bench, or a vintage sofa with a few decorations around it to make a nice backdrop. Have a trash bag (that you keep out of the way of the photos) or gift wrap a large open box in which to stuff the opened gift paper. Be sure to delegate someone to writing down who gave her what gift and have a pad of paper and pens ready for that person. Nominate another person or two to hand the gifts to the honoree and take them away and organize them in bags or boxes ready to be taken home. Depending on how many guests will be attending, prep the gift opener on how quickly she should open the gifts. One minute per gift works with 20 people or less, but anymore than that and you're going to need to speed it up. Open cards quickly, if there's a long message written inside, let the guest know you'll spend more time reading it later when you're alone. Open the gift, show it to everyone, thank the gift giver and hand the gift to the person designated to organizing them and move to the next gift. Bridal Shower Bingo is a great way to make guests feel like they're part of the gift opening and it entertains.
If you have over 40 or 50 people, you may want to consider a Gifts on Display shower where guests don't wrap the gifts, but just decorate them a bit so that you don't need to open them. This option can be a bit controversial, but anyone who dislikes wrapping or gift openings will appreciate it. It's starting to increase in popularity now. And you can make it more acceptable by appealing to the guest's environmentally friendly and social side. Alternatively, you can let guests know that you'll be opening them after the shower or do it last and let the guests know they aren't expected to stay for it.
13. Pick Party Favors (optional)
Party favors are something that are almost expected, but guests rarely care about. People often don't want another nik-nak to store somewhere that will eventually get tossed... Good favors are small treats (homemade cookies, caramel apples, unusual candy to people will want to try) or something usable (a compact mirror, nail polish, a deck of cards, bookmarks, etc). If it's meant to just sit on a shelf forever, consider something else or just put more effort into your game gifts and forget about favors entirely. You just served a free meal and drinks, guests won't expect to get more back. At most shower and weddings I've attended, most guests forget or deliberately don't take the favors and they get wasted anyways. The only reason I mention favors at all is because I didn't want you to think I forgot ;-)
14. Get a Guestbook (optional)
Guestbook don't need to be books. They can be anything! There are so many options to choose from. You can buy a guestbook painting: like these, or buy an object that fits your theme to have guests sign, like a globe, a wooden wall hanging or letter for the new last name of the bride or first name of the baby. You can send the guests recipe cards with the invitation to fill out in advance with a favorite recipe and assemble them into a recipe/guestbook!
15. Make Sure Everyone is Ready
This seems obvious, but before the shower, make sure all bridesmaids or co-hosts have their assigned task ready. There's always that flaky person on the team that waits until the last minute to do something or forgets what time they should arrive. Make sure everyone helping knows what time they should arrive to help decorate or prep food. Check-in with them the day before too. If you're host alone, ask a friend to help you setup and get food ready.
16. Make a TIMELINE!
I can not count how many showers, and even weddings, I've been to where the host just wing it. This is okay for casual parties, but if you want time to play games, eat, open gifts, get photos together, and visit and you only have 2 hours, you better make a timeline that allows for all of that. Start with the arrival time. Some guests will arrive early and some will come late. Allow 20 minutes for everyone to arrive. You may want to let people eat first or jump into playing games to break the ice. You can let people eat while you're doing the gift opening. Make sure you have a timeline for the order of events and allow time for mingling. Here's a sample timeline:
10am: Arrive to decorate
12pm: Prep food
2pm: Guests arrive
2:30: Start Purse Scavenger Hunt Game (Teams of 3 or 4)
2:45: Serve Food
2:55: Start gift opening
3:25: Play What's in your Cell Phone game (one winner)
3:35: Serve Dessert
3:45: Thank Guests (give favors if using)
Guests can mingle
4:30 Clean up
Make sure all the hosts have this timeline in advance.
17. Setup and Throw a Great Shower!
With all this prep work, you should be totally prepared! Allow enough time to setup all your decorations. If you're making the food, prep as much as you can the day before and allow time for cooking or assembling before the shower starts.
Let me know how your shower goes and give ideas to others in the comments!
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